I wanted to get different views from others on what are ways you change the word "Don't," for example instead of saying "We don't run in the classroom or we don't hit our friends," what are ways you can take out the word don't but still let them know that running or hitting is not okay. I've been told that saying don't is not really a good thing to say.

------------------------------
Monique Vasquez
Fillmore
------------------------------

Hi, Instead of saying things like, "Don't run in the classroom," I'll say, "We walk in the classroom."  Instead of saying, "Don't hit" I say, "We use safe hands."  
<g class="gr_ gr_293 gr-alert gr_gramm gr_inline_cards gr_run_anim Punctuation only-ins replaceWithoutSep" id="293" data-gr-id="293">Basically</g> I just think about what it is I want them to do.  Saying "<g class="gr_ gr_391 gr-alert gr_gramm gr_inline_cards gr_run_anim Punctuation only-ins replaceWithoutSep" id="391" data-gr-id="391">don't</g>" tells children what not to do but doesn't help them be proactive about making positive choices.

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Alicia Shaw
------------------------------

------Original Message------

Hi, Instead of saying things like, "Don't run in the classroom," I'll say, "We walk in the classroom."  Instead of saying, "Don't hit" I say, "We use safe hands."  
<g class="gr_ gr_293 gr-alert gr_gramm gr_inline_cards gr_run_anim Punctuation only-ins replaceWithoutSep" id="293" data-gr-id="293">Basically</g> I just think about what it is I want them to do.  Saying "<g class="gr_ gr_391 gr-alert gr_gramm gr_inline_cards gr_run_anim Punctuation only-ins replaceWithoutSep" id="391" data-gr-id="391">don't</g>" tells children what not to do but doesn't help them be proactive about making positive choices.

------------------------------
Alicia Shaw
------------------------------

------Original Message------

Hi, Instead of saying things like, "Don't run in the classroom," I'll say, "We walk in the classroom."  Instead of saying, "Don't hit" I say, "We use safe hands."  
<g class="gr_ gr_293 gr-alert gr_gramm gr_inline_cards gr_run_anim Punctuation only-ins replaceWithoutSep" id="293" data-gr-id="293">Basically</g> I just think about what it is I want them to do.  Saying "<g class="gr_ gr_391 gr-alert gr_gramm gr_inline_cards gr_run_anim Punctuation only-ins replaceWithoutSep" id="391" data-gr-id="391">don't</g>" tells children what not to do but doesn't help them be proactive about making positive choices.

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Alicia Shaw
------------------------------

Hi to all,
I always use word "show me how u walk"in door also we put sign show walking feet in the classroom.

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Manal Khadem
Mrs.
El Dorado Hills
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Original Message:
Sent: 10-25-2018 14:09
From: Sabrina Sheikh - FCCHP
Subject: Ways to Change the Word "Don't"??

I would like to say: use your walking feet instead of running you might trip over and get hurt.

give reasoning 

--

Sabrina Sheikh
Developmental Director | Milpitas Childcare & Learning Center
School: 408-957-0662 | Mobile: 408-759-2223

www.milpitaschildcare.com

Original Message------

Hi, Instead of saying things like, "Don't run in the classroom," I'll say, "We walk in the classroom."  Instead of saying, "Don't hit" I say, "We use safe hands."
<g class="gr_ gr_293 gr-alert gr_gramm gr_inline_cards gr_run_anim Punctuation only-ins replaceWithoutSep" id="293" data-gr-id="293">Basically</g> I just think about what it is I want them to do.  Saying "<g class="gr_ gr_391 gr-alert gr_gramm gr_inline_cards gr_run_anim Punctuation only-ins replaceWithoutSep" id="391" data-gr-id="391">don't</g>" tells children what not to do but doesn't help them be proactive about making positive choices.

------------------------------
Alicia Shaw
------------------------------

------Original Message------

Hi, Instead of saying things like, "Don't run in the classroom," I'll say, "We walk in the classroom."  Instead of saying, "Don't hit" I say, "We use safe hands."  
<g class="gr_ gr_293 gr-alert gr_gramm gr_inline_cards gr_run_anim Punctuation only-ins replaceWithoutSep" id="293" data-gr-id="293">Basically</g> I just think about what it is I want them to do.  Saying "<g class="gr_ gr_391 gr-alert gr_gramm gr_inline_cards gr_run_anim Punctuation only-ins replaceWithoutSep" id="391" data-gr-id="391">don't</g>" tells children what not to do but doesn't help them be proactive about making positive choices.

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Alicia Shaw
------------------------------

Tell the child what to do instead of what not to do.  Show the child by modeling the behavior you want.  Use a visual picture of the action. Encourage the child in a way that lets him know that he is exhibiting the desired behavior. Be enthusiastic and generous with encouragement.

------------------------------
[Linda]
[Instructional Coach]
[Head Start]
[Kalispell] [Mt]
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 10-24-2018 14:38
From: Alicia Shaw
Subject: Ways to Change the Word "Don't"??

Hi, Instead of saying things like, "Don't run in the classroom," I'll say, "We walk in the classroom."  Instead of saying, "Don't hit" I say, "We use safe hands."
<g class="gr_ gr_293 gr-alert gr_gramm gr_inline_cards gr_run_anim Punctuation only-ins replaceWithoutSep" id="293" data-gr-id="293">Basically</g> I just think about what it is I want them to do.  Saying "<g class="gr_ gr_391 gr-alert gr_gramm gr_inline_cards gr_run_anim Punctuation only-ins replaceWithoutSep" id="391" data-gr-id="391">don't</g>" tells children what not to do but doesn't help them be proactive about making positive choices.

------------------------------
Alicia Shaw
------------------------------

------Original Message------

Tell the child what to do instead of what not to do.  Show the child by modeling the behavior you want.  Use a visual picture of the action. Encourage the child in a way that lets him know that he is exhibiting the desired behavior. Be enthusiastic and generous with encouragement.

------------------------------
[Linda]
[Instructional Coach]
[Head Start]
[Kalispell] [Mt]
------------------------------

I want to know what else can be said in place of or instead of don't ? please respond

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Gretchen Murphy
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​In our program we practice PBIS - Positive Behavior Intervention and Support. The idea is to talk with the children about being safe, kind and responsible. So if you're trying to get your kiddos to stop running inside, you could say, "let's be safe by using our walking feet", or "I see that you're being responsible by using your walking feet". Just examples, but they do tend to be effective. Our teachers review the PBIS expectations daily at morning circle and throughout their class day. It also supports a positive classroom environment. Hope this helps! Good luck!

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Sue Vanderlin
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------Original Message------

I wanted to get different views from others on what are ways you change the word "Don't," for example instead of saying "We don't run in the classroom or we don't hit our friends," what are ways you can take out the word don't but still let them know that running or hitting is not okay. I've been told that saying don't is not really a good thing to say.

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Monique Vasquez
Fillmore
------------------------------

I think just basically stating to the child what we WANT them to do instead of telling them what we don't want them to do is effective. 
Also, I have a friend that says, "Only do that once" when her own child does something they're not supposed to.

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[Debbie] [Hubbard]
[1st/2nd grade special education]
[Sabine Parish]
[Many] [LA]
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 10-25-2018 11:37
From: Katherine Thomas
Subject: Ways to Change the Word "Don't"??

I think that stating the positive is always helpful, like "we walk in the classroom", or "we go up the stairs and down the slide". I also like rule reminders which are always positive. I know its so easy to let don't slip out of our mouths, but that begins to be like "wappp, wapppp, wappp". When we bring it back to the child to have them think, then it becomes more of a ownership. I hope this helps. I know it seems a little old, but this actually works.

 

Sent from Mail for Windows 10

 

Original Message------

I wanted to get different views from others on what are ways you change the word "Don't," for example instead of saying "We don't run in the classroom or we don't hit our friends," what are ways you can take out the word don't but still let them know that running or hitting is not okay. I've been told that saying don't is not really a good thing to say.

------------------------------
Monique Vasquez
Fillmore
------------------------------

I agree with what everyone is saying. Instead of saying "don't run", say what you want them to do "walking feet". Or "don't hit", say "use your gentle hands". Always say what you want them to do. And it takes a lot of practice because we are use to saying "don't or no". Hope this has been helpful.

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Penny Brunell
Butte MT
------------------------------

Great question! 
There are two points I'd like you to consider:
1.  Positive Reinforcement:  Focusing most of your time reinforcing the positive behaviors you see over time will lessen the incidents of challenging behaviors.  This has been proven time after time in many classrooms.  Sometimes it takes a long time to change the culture of the classroom, but with intentionality, consistency, and a great deal of persistence you can create a classroom where the majority of behaviors are what you want to see!  Especially if you intentionally look for those moments (however few) when a child that seems to not follow the rules often does something they should be doing and let them know that you noticed and let them know why what they did was good or helpful (specific).  It takes patience but it is well worth it.  It is so much more fun to work in an environment in which children are being recognized for the loving, kind, helpful things they are doing!

2.  Teaching Children Acceptable Behaviors:  When we tell children "don't _____ (fill in the blank)" we are not TEACHING them.  We are, in fact, just identifying a behavior that we really don't want to see or even think about.  What we need to do is think for a moment about what they are doing that you don't want - and identify a behavior or action that would be acceptable in its place.  For example, if they are running (and it is dangerous - if it's not dangerous I say let them run), maybe you ask them if they would rather walk or tiptoe to get where they are going so that they and others are safe.  Then their brain thinks "safe, tiptoe, walk."  If they yell in the room, you might tell them they can either whisper indoors or talk in a way that is healthier for everyone's ears. Then their brain thinks "whisper, talk, healthier."

You took a positive step toward growth by reaching out.  Good luck!  Andrea

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Andrea Dekker
Technical Assistant
Quality First Redesign
Tucson AZ
------------------------------

I try to teach them the consequences of doing the "wrong" action/behavior, discuss alternatives, and try to reflect back on their personal experience (if any), so that they can relate. 

"If you run in class you might slip and fall. Lets walk instead. Remember when you ran inside and fell on the toy? It hurt your leg right? Do you want to feel that again? Probably not. Remember it's safer to walk."

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Neale Marquez FCCHP
Daycare Provider
------------------------------

I agree, in how we can change the words to cause the same effect "do not yell at your friend" "it's better to use the words" and tell him in a soft tone giving him an example.

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Claudia Marcela Parra Assistant
San Jose CA
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 10-26-2018 02:26
From: Neale Marquez FCCHP
Subject: Ways to Change the Word "Don't"??

I try to teach them the consequences of doing the "wrong" action/behavior, discuss alternatives, and try to reflect back on their personal experience (if any), so that they can relate.

"If you run in class you might slip and fall. Lets walk instead. Remember when you ran inside and fell on the toy? It hurt your leg right? Do you want to feel that again? Probably not. Remember it's safer to walk."

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Neale Marquez FCCHP
Daycare Provider
------------------------------

I find myself also using don't a lot. I teach 4 and 5 year olds. Even though we go over the rules of  the classroom everyday I still find it hard not to use don't.

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Dena Brinkman
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https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0?ui=2&ik=12b1bb7f1e&attid=0.1&permmsgid=msg-a:r-209339778236600996&th=168a95666f46d838&view=att&disp=safe&realattid=f_jrm499p30


How to Use Positive Language So Young Children Will Listen

------------------------------
Susan Hinman Waldman
Practice Based Coach
Communities United Inc.
Watertown, MA
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 11-02-2018 13:18
From: Dena Brinkman
Subject: Ways to Change the Word "Don't"??

I find myself also using don't a lot. I teach 4 and 5 year olds. Even though we go over the rules of  the classroom everyday I still find it hard not to use don't.

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Dena Brinkman
------------------------------

In my classroom we try not to use the word "NO" as well, we say what your supposed to versus what what not to do. For example we  remind our children use inside voices when we are inside. We use walking feet inside the classroom, We use nice hands always with our friends. You do not touch your friends unless they give you an OK for a hug. The word bad in my class is also not allowed, we say always tell them making good choices through out the day makes for an awesome day. So we constantly look at the positive behavior my cheering them when a good choice has been made. Never look at the negative.

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Yesmeida Soto
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All,
Here is a resource that is helpful for helping teachers and associates "Tell Me What To Do Instead."

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Kathy Cockrum
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 11-06-2018 09:06
From: Yesmeida Soto
Subject: Ways to Change the Word "Don't"??

In my classroom we try not to use the word "NO" as well, we say what your supposed to versus what what not to do. For example we  remind our children use inside voices when we are inside. We use walking feet inside the classroom, We use nice hands always with our friends. You do not touch your friends unless they give you an OK for a hug. The word bad in my class is also not allowed, we say always tell them making good choices through out the day makes for an awesome day. So we constantly look at the positive behavior my cheering them when a good choice has been made. Never look at the negative.

------------------------------
Yesmeida Soto
------------------------------

If I see a child running in the classroom and I ask them to use their walking feet, I like to ask them where is a safe place to run. I think that it is important to not only support the child in knowing  what is safe inside the classroom, but outside as well. I work with preschoolers so to match  their affect, I also like to use their actions as a conversation starter. For example instead of saying don't run I might say "wow your running feet are telling me you are in a hurry, where are you going so fast?"

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Sherrie Gregory
West Plains MO
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Hello,
 My name is Tiera Williams and I am the Assistant Director of YWCA Istrouma Early Head Start in Baton Rouge, LA. We have been working on ways to not say the word "Don't" as well. Instead of saying don't run, we say "Use your walking feet". Instead of saying don't hit, we say "soft touches". This may help you out a little.

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Tiera Williams
Baton Rouge LA
------------------------------

I have a training on positive guidance I do with each new teacher and education assistant before they go into the classroom. I even do it with our community volunteers. We actually practice turning negative statements into positive ones. Stating what you want from a child rather than what you don't want sounds easier than it really is. It takes practice. At the end of a classroom style presentation, we use a 'ball of insults' (negative things I've heard adults saying to children over the years). It says things like, 'don't push your friends', 'stop running', 'you can't go up the slide when your friends are trying to come down', and 'why can't you just sit still??' We toss the ball around, and participants read the negative statement their thumb lands on out loud, then we work on turning it into a positive statement to tell children what we DO want them to do ('we keep our friends safe by keeping our hands on our own body', 'we walk in the classroom', 'walk up the stairs and sit on your bottom to go down the slide', 'we keep our bottom in the chair while we eat', etc). People don't realize just how often they say 'don't' and 'no' until they start practicing alternative ways to speak with children.

------------------------------
Dorothy Fredrick
Curriculum, Instruction and Training Coordinator
------------------------------

Better ways to ask a child to stop crying...

------------------------------
Susan Hinman Waldman
Practice Based Coach
Communities United Inc.
Watertown, MA
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 11-07-2018 09:55
From: Dorothy Fredrick
Subject: Ways to Change the Word "Don't"??

I have a training on positive guidance I do with each new teacher and education assistant before they go into the classroom. I even do it with our community volunteers. We actually practice turning negative statements into positive ones. Stating what you want from a child rather than what you don't want sounds easier than it really is. It takes practice. At the end of a classroom style presentation, we use a 'ball of insults' (negative things I've heard adults saying to children over the years). It says things like, 'don't push your friends', 'stop running', 'you can't go up the slide when your friends are trying to come down', and 'why can't you just sit still??' We toss the ball around, and participants read the negative statement their thumb lands on out loud, then we work on turning it into a positive statement to tell children what we DO want them to do ('we keep our friends safe by keeping our hands on our own body', 'we walk in the classroom', 'walk up the stairs and sit on your bottom to go down the slide', 'we keep our bottom in the chair while we eat', etc). People don't realize just how often they say 'don't' and 'no' until they start practicing alternative ways to speak with children.

------------------------------
Dorothy Fredrick
Curriculum, Instruction and Training Coordinator
------------------------------

​Another word that breaks my hear in the classroom is the word " can't" especially when it refers to something a child can't do.  I tell my students that instead of using can't they can say that they can try their best.  Much  more helpful in building self esteem and creating a positive environment in the classroom.

------------------------------
Tammy Stark
------------------------------

​Monique,
I think it is important to tell children what they can do and to give choices, but only choices that are real and produce the results that you want.  "Walk in the classroom." " You can run when we get outside on the playground".  " We build with blocks, if you want to throw use these bean bags".  I hope these examples help.

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Taryn SHANK
Columbus
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 11-14-2018 14:15
From: Tammy Stark
Subject: Ways to Change the Word "Don't"??

​Another word that breaks my hear in the classroom is the word " can't" especially when it refers to something a child can't do.  I tell my students that instead of using can't they can say that they can try their best.  Much  more helpful in building self esteem and creating a positive environment in the classroom.

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Tammy Stark
------------------------------

I love using Communication is Key one of the resources from Lentini, R. Vaughn, B.J., Fox, L. (2005). Teaching Tools for Young Children with Challenging Behavior. University Of South Florida



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Elizabeth Dixon
Clearwater FL
------------------------------

One of my favorite resources I like to share and coach teachers with is from the Cox Campus - Right from the Start website. It'll require a login (it's free) and you'll have access to many tips/ideas for educators from infants to preschool age on interactions. 

I refer to these handouts to coach teachers on finding alternative ways to provide appropriate/positive guidance; try to minimize "no, don't, stop, and etc." in the classroom. I like the charts that provide possible reasons why behaviors occur and how to help teachers understand to accommodate the children's needs and their actions. 

Cox Campus Resource Library | Read Right from the Start

Responding to Children's Behavior Chart

Document Resource

Emotional Needs Chart

Document Resource

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Lisbeth Ramos
Philadelphia, PA
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Really just by taking that word out; "We walk inside...hitting hurts our friends...etc." there are SO MANY ways to phrase things positively! Suggest telling children what to do instead of what not to do. There also is the practice for teachers to just state what they see; "I see some children running inside. How can we be safe?" or something to that effect.

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Gayle Campbell
Grand Ronde OR
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I think another way that maybe hasn't been mentioned yet is to acknowledge the students who are doing what you are asking. For example, "I like the way that Peter is walking in the classroom" or "Thank you Jessica for using your walking feet in the classroom."

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Paxton Acree
------------------------------

Positive interactions in the classroom can happen in so many ways.  I regularly visit www.theinspiredtreehouse.com and http://csefel.uiuc.edu to make connections for strategies that are affirming.  Attached are some examples.  The calming techniques and the scavenger hunt are from the Inspired Treehouse and The Building Positive Teacher-Child Relationships is provided by the Child Care Bureau.  In this article the strategies that are listed for developing positive teacher-child relationships all relate to CLASS from my perspective.  What are your thoughts?  How does this help with connections?

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Ayesha Morin
San Antonio TX
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Original Message:
Sent: 07-15-2019 13:51
From: Paxton Acree
Subject: Ways to Change the Word "Don't"??

I think another way that maybe hasn't been mentioned yet is to acknowledge the students who are doing what you are asking. For example, "I like the way that Peter is walking in the classroom" or "Thank you Jessica for using your walking feet in the classroom."

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Paxton Acree
------------------------------

Hello. Children respond to songs and if you include their name in the song it makes even better. I make up songs about anything and I first mention the name of a child who is showing the behavior I want to see and then I will say another child showing that behavior. More children will begin to show that behavior because they want to hear their name in the song. You can make your song to a tune they already know. An example of one of my songs is "Walking Feet" and it goes....

Walking feet,
Walking feet,
Let me see your walking feet,
Walking feet,
Walking feet,
Look at Rhyans walking feet (keep repeating until you mention everyone that is using walking feet)

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Nichole Lee
Charlotte
------------------------------